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Author Topic: Stencils not in the middle  (Read 3371 times)

Offline UnicornCrazy

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Oh great, I had a huge long reply to this and my stupid mouse glitched again. >_> Time to rewrite I guess? *opens new tab so my stupid mouse can't jump me back*

Yeah That is pretty much the issue I have, or at least a big part of it. I try not to care what people think but I do... I do worry about how I seem to others. :/ It does stop me doing some things as much as I otherwise might... For instance I don't parkour so much if too many people might be watching because I don't want to seem like a showoff. (Although if I'm with a friend it's okay?) Also I tend to try to hide my insecurities and just generally act completely fine because I don't want to look like I'm attention-seeking. X.x (Also, so many people have it so much worse than me I mean my life is basically heaven in comparison to so many people's so I don't feel like I should be complaining about it...) I'm also scared of seeming big-headed or such... :/

I have had a firey temper for a while anyway mind you, even before I had particular confidence issues. I did at one point learn to control that... I could at that point be literally shaking with anger and yet continue to think logically and act calm, not letting my anger alter my actions at all? Unfortunately that ability to control my emotions has broken down, become unreliable, and entirely backfired and seems to cause a certain amount of problems now because instead of just controlling my emotions and working around them I try to bottle them away and that invariably causes problems because eventually that bottle gets full and spills over. X.x (Which is what I tend to describe it as when I snap... My emotion-bottle getting too full and spilling over.)

But yeah... I know what my problem is tbh... I just don't know how to fix it. -_- I've been trying to work on my confidence and I think it's improved a little bit but it keeps getting hammered back down by the littlest thing. :( I think there's a lot of things that would go a lot better if I could just trust myself... Also honestly sometimes my brain just utterly contradicts it's self in what I want which is just confusing. :(
The Hiakan Solarsystem.
The only truly inherently bad and destructive thing that exists is hatred. Everything else has the ability to be used for good, even violence has it's place. But hatred is incapable of causing anything but harm.

Offline EveOfTheTardis

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I used to be like that but I'd get upset instead of angry, and like you say it was whenever people got the wrong impression, saw me in the wrong light (metaphorically), or ignored me, or something like that. I still sometimes worry that things I am saying will give people the wrong impression of me, but I'm a lot better with dealing with that now.

What I did was I first identified my problem, and it took some time. I took a good look at myself, tried to take a step back when a situation arose to see what I was reacting to, and realised that I had no confidence in who I was as a person. I thought that everyone would be upset or angry or offended or think I was stupid whenever I acted or spoke, and for no real reason because I wasn't doing anything to cause a reaction like that, plus nobody ever did react like that. I was getting paranoid.

What I did was I started to try to build some self trust, it was just little things, I praised myself more when I did things correctly, when I remembered things, when I made people smile. I also taught myself not to care about certain people's reactions, as not all people are worth your worrying, only let yourself worry about how your friends and family see you, don't try to control everything, you're putting more on your shoulders than you need or deserve by doing that. Also it's difficult but try not to worry about things that have already happened (it's in the past and there's nothing you can do) or about things that are out of your control, it makes life feel a bit easier.

I hope this helps, even just a little bit.
Not all those who wander are lost
--> http://nicnic09.deviantart.com/ <--

Offline UnicornCrazy

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I angrily lash out at that kind of thing because it hurts, it upsets me and that translates into anger. So yeah. *shrugs*

I'll try to do that, but I don't really feel there's much I can actually praise myself about. ._. and I don't know how to teach myself to not care what people think of me and stuff, I try to not care but I can't. X.x And tbh, I don't try to control much at all I sort of just let whatever happens, happen. And that causes me to get frustrated with myself because I just end up with everyone walking all over me (metaphorically) and don't end up standing up for myself until I snap at which point I go the other way and become utterly unreasonable. :/ IDK I guess I probably try to control unseen thingsbut meh. :/

I just don't know to be honest... ._.
The Hiakan Solarsystem.
The only truly inherently bad and destructive thing that exists is hatred. Everything else has the ability to be used for good, even violence has it's place. But hatred is incapable of causing anything but harm.

Offline EveOfTheTardis

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I understand how difficult it is to change your natural reactions to situations, I've only managed a small change and it has taken many years, just don't push yourself too hard, and don't berate yourself when you don't do things as well as you wish.

I think I have an advantage when it comes to not caring about hurtful things people say as I tend to dissociate, though it's not by choice and it's not good or healthy, it's a problem.
[Google 'dissociation' if you don't know what it is]

I'm sorry you're feeling so low and having trouble coping with things right now. I hope things improve.
Not all those who wander are lost
--> http://nicnic09.deviantart.com/ <--